The Spanish influencer and aristocrat Ana Finat, a descendant of St. Francis Borgia, has just published the story of her conversion where she describes how she went from worldliness and being afraid of God to regaining freedom by trusting in his mercy.

In the Spanish-language book “When I Met the God of Love: How the Love of Christ Freed Me from the Chains of the World,” Finat shares the story of her life, quite distinct from that of ordinary mortals because of her family environment — especially during her childhood — but, at the same time, very similar in terms of worldliness and alienation from the faith like the majority of her generation.

“When I grew up, I distanced myself from God, because it was bothersome to me and because I was rebellious,” she admitted in a conversation with ACI Prensa, CNA’s Spanish-language news partner. During that time, she lived like so many young people of her generation: “I smoked my first cigarettes, I experienced my first joints, we went out drinking a lot, and I spent more time on the street playing hooky than at school,” she explains in the book.

She also did not live chastely, which led her to getting unexpectedly pregnant at age 20. In addition, she would later use assisted reproductive technologies that are contrary to the magisterium of the Catholic Church.

Fortunately, she didn’t yield to the temptation to abort her child: “I never considered having an abortion. The pregnancy made me anxious; I knew perfectly well that it wasn’t going to be easy, because our relationship [with her then-boyfriend] wasn’t good, but I was excited about the life that was coming. From the beginning, I welcomed [the child] with great enthusiasm. For me it was a gift, because I knew what was coming to me, to begin with, because I was also very immature,” she explained.

‘The only thing that makes you stop, because it truly fills you, is Christ’

That’s how things were until Finat attended a Life in the Spirit Seminar, a charismatic retreat organized by the Archdiocese of Toledo in Spain, after which she gave her social media to God (she currently has more than 30,000 followers on Instagram). In the book she says that, after that experience, “I was finally free.”

Finat explained that, after that encounter with the Holy Spirit, she understood that “abandoning all your worries, all your anxieties and trusting in God gives immense freedom. Knowing that there is someone greater, who is taking care of you, who loves you like a father, like the best father, who doesn’t separate himself from you. Abandon yourself also to the Holy Spirit, that the Holy Spirit leads you… all that gives a lot of freedom.”

The influencer also felt liberated from the way she saw herself: “I was totally immersed in today’s world, in social media, with its vanity, its selfishness,” she said, and, separated from God, she recognized that “I did whatever I wanted. I didn’t care. I was very much all about myself. It’s me first and then everything else.”

However, this worldly lifestyle didn’t fulfill her deepest aspirations: “You think it has fulfilled you, but then you realize that it hasn’t. In the end, the only thing that makes you stop, because it truly fulfills you, is Christ,” she shared.

Writing her conversion story “was very scary,” she admitted, especially because of the implications for her husband and daughters and because it’s not easy “to tell things with sensitivity, without morbidity.” Fortunately, after receiving the offer from the publisher, Finat has also counted on the support of Father Santiago Arellano, a priest of the Archdiocese of Toledo, who is her spiritual director.

It wasn’t easy to change her life, either, because those closest to her “didn’t understand anything at all” and as a result “there were many clashes.” However, with the passage of time, things changed: “When they see that everything you’re experiencing is leading you to be better with them, to love them more, to do better for them, to live more for them, and the change is good, it’s absurd for them to fight, because it’s all for their own good. Now they’re all delighted,” she shared with a smile.

It was also difficult to change the direction of her social media, because she thought that if she started talking about God and not about the events she was invited to or about certain clothing and cosmetic brands, she would lose followers. So she considered leaving Instagram.

However, after giving her social media to God, she decided to continue despite the attacks she received, “especially when I posted things about abortion. People got really angry there,” or when she talked about euthanasia. She has also received support, to the point that “I have continued to grow in followers miraculously,” Finat happily commented.

‘We have the same struggles’ as St. Francis Borgia and St. Teresa of Ávila

Since her childhood, Finat had heard stories at home about her family ties to St. Francis Borgia, St. Teresa of Ávila, and St. Louis Gonzaga. Especially with Borgia, who was superior general of the Society of Jesus and whose eldest son, Juan, was the first count of Mayalde, a title held by Ana’s parents.

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After her conversion, Ana delved into their stories and explained that “even in another era, they had the same struggles that I have.” In particular, she believes that St. Teresa would have been attracted by “the conversations and frivolities with the high society of Ávila” and St. Francis Borgia would have been tempted by “the power of the world.” Not without reason, he was viceroy of Catalonia in the service of Emperor Carlos I of Spain.

Ultimately, Finat said she feels “super-identified with them” and she commends herself to these saints in a special way. At the same time, it represents a challenge for her: “Having ancestors like that in the family sets the bar very high. On the one hand, you feel horrible, dwarfed, tiny… But on the other hand it also stirs up the desire to imitate them.”

Since her conversion, Finat, together with her sister Casilda, has been involved in two very specific apostolates in the Archdiocese of Toledo: Pueblo de Alabanza (People of Praise), which promotes prayers of praise along with the Life in the Spirit Seminars, and the Anawim Family, which seeks to minister to people in need.

This story was first published by ACI Prensa, CNA’s Spanish-language news partner. It has been translated and adapted by CNA.