Viewpoint Unsympathetic confessors abuse the sacrament and turn people off

Jun 18, 2015

Recently, I had a conversation with a woman who had not been to Confession for ten years because the last time she went the priest bawled her out.  I assured her that the vast majority of priests do not act like that, and I advised her to muster enough courage to go to the sacrament again.

I told the woman of my own experience with a priest in Confession in a major Roman basilica. The priest was quite contentious, and we quickly began to argue (He started it!). I told the priest thanks but no thanks and I left half way through the Confession. (I have thought many times since then that had I been a "fallen-away" Catholic who, while in Rome, was inspired to go to Confession for the first time in years, and had a bad experience with a confessor, I would possibly never darken the door of a church again.)

While there are few bad eggs among confessors (from what I hear, some Roman basilicas have more than a few), I think most priests try hard to be kind and generous in celebrating the sacrament.  It is certainly the mind of the church that confessors act lovingly in the model of Jesus when they hear confessions.

I mailed the lady with whom I was taking the following description of the good confessor from the Catechism of the Catholic Church:  "When he celebrates the sacrament of Penance, the priest is fulfilling the ministry of the Good Shepherd who seeks the lost sheep, of the Good Samaritan who binds up wounds, of the Father who awaits the prodigal son and welcomes him on his return, and of the just and impartial judge whose judgment is both just and merciful.  The priest is the sign and the instrument of God's merciful love for the sinner" (no.1465).

The Catechism states elsewhere: "The confessor is not the master of God's forgiveness, but its servant.  The minister of this sacrament should unite himself to the intention and charity of Christ.  He should have a proven knowledge of Christian behavior, experience of human affairs, respect and sensitivity toward the one who has fallen; he must love the truth, be faithful to the Magisterium of the Church, and lead the penitent with patience towardhealing and full maturity.  He must pray and do penance for his penitent entrusting him to the Lord's mercy" (no.1466).

I know a confessor (not in my diocese) who gives himself the same penance as he gives every penitent, and carries it through as an act of solidarity withpenitents. Every week, he gives all the penitents the same penance, and he tells each one that he is taking on the same penance himself. I asked him how the penitents react; he said they are always moved and most appreciative.   

That is a powerful and positive approach to the role of the priest in Confession. Not every priest can go to heroic lengths to express solidarity with penitents, but a priest could take on some penance at the end of Confession period.

Pope Francis, who recently announced a Year of Mercy, has constantly spoken about the need for priests to be ministers of mercy committed to seeking out and bringing back the lost sheep, and demonstrating compassionate solidarity with people. Priests are called to go out to the margins, where people with all kinds of spiritual maladies are struggling to find direction, bind their wounds, and lead them back to the experience of a merciful God.