“Too often,” Hasson observes, “we helpful souls open the discussion by arguing about whether a woman really could handle more children if she were generous and women feel disrespected and judged.”
“If we instead take as a starting point that a woman together with her husband has come to a prudential decision they can’t have more children now, then the conversation begins not in the realm of second-guessing their judgment, but in the realm of the practical: what’s the best way to do that? Did you know you can space your children in a way that’s healthy, natural, effective, pleasing to God, and keeps the conversation open with respect to more kids?”
Says Hasson: “That is where women begin to be more receptive: when they feel their personal situations are respected.”
Hasson observes that the interviews she’s been doing reinforce the truth of theologian Janet Smith’s observation that women who at first use Natural Family Planning for reasons of their own gradually come to be more open to life in the process.
“The Catholic women I spoke with who are using NFP for health reasons are satisfied with it, have high confidence in its effectiveness and – not surprisingly—averaged about four kids. The method itself did good things for them.”
Hasson says she hopes priests and catechists will be forthright in addressing the issue, but at the same time broach the topic in the form of an invitation to discover the benefits of Natural Family Planning rather than an authoritative demand that women give up the pill before they have heard persuasive reasons for doing so. As Blessed John Paul II observed, the truth must be proposed, not imposed.