After Jesus is arrested people begin to question Peter about whether he is a disciple of Jesus. “The maid who kept the door said to Peter, ‘Are you not one of this man’s disciples?’ He said, ‘I am not.’ Now the servant and officers had made a charcoal fire, because it was cold, and they were standing and warming themselves; Peter also was with them, standing and warming himself” (Jn 18:17-18). This is the first of Peter’s denials of Jesus. Peter will go on to deny Christ two more times (cf. Jn 18:25-27). All three denials took place by a charcoal fire.
Now, after the Resurrection, there is another charcoal fire. During this time Jesus addresses Peter and three times asks, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” Peter then responds three times, “Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus, in his mercy, gives Peter a threefold chance to undo his threefold denial. However, we do know that by the third time Jesus addresses him “Peter was distressed [grieved] that Jesus had said to him a third time, ‘Do you love me?’” (Jn 21:17).
One of the things that we miss in the English translation of this passage has to do with the word “love.” In Greek there are three words for love. Each has its own particular meaning even though all of them must be translated with the one English word, “love.” This passage uses two of the three Greek words for love: “agape” and “phileo.” Here is how the dialogue would look translating literally from Greek:
Jesus: Simon…do you love (agape) me more than these?
Peter: Yes, Lord; you know that I love (phileo) you.
Jesus: Simon…do you…love (agape) me?
Peter: Yes, Lord, you know that I love (phileo) you.
Jesus: Simon…do you love (phileo) me?
Peter: [Grieved] “Lord…you know that I love (phileo) you.”
The interaction is intense because the first two times Jesus asks his question of Peter he uses the word “agape,” which means a self-sacrificial love. Peter, however, responds using the word “phileo,” which means brotherly love. The third time Jesus asks, the one that grieves Peter, he uses the word “phileo.” Peter responds once again with the word “phileo.”
We know from earlier in John’s Gospel that Peter overstates his willingness to follow Jesus. “Simon Peter said to him, ‘Lord, where are you going?’ Jesus answered, ‘Where I am going you cannot follow me now; but you shall follow afterward.’ Peter said to him, ‘Lord, why can I not follow you? I will lay down my life for you.’ Jesus answered, ‘Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow, till you have denied me three times’” (Jn 14:36-38).