This is not good news for us, because when it comes to our love of others, we all fail. And worse than failing is excusing ourselves for failing because “we are only human.” I really have a distaste for that saying, because it undermines our configuration into Jesus at Baptism that made us adopted children of God. We most certainly are NOT “only human” anymore. We share the divine life through our Baptism into Christ. Thus, we are configured to love. So technically, it is much more unnatural for us to fail at love. We are called to love, because we are called to be a witness of Jesus' love in the world.
Love is patient. I have heard it said that no one gets into heaven without patience. I believe that. And it makes me thank God for Purgatory, because patience is pretty hard for me. Yet we can grow more patient every day, and God gives us a lifetime to grow in patience through our interaction with others. Perhaps it is the number one purpose of marriage and having children; namely, to help us become patient. God knows how much the virtue of patience is needed when you are married and have children.
Love is kind. Ah, kindness. If only people were more kind! I think most of us consider ourselves to be kind people. We don't look to hurt others, and we try to help. But to be truly kind is more than this. Peter Kreeft, in his book “The God Who Loves You”, said, “kindness is the desire to relieve or prevent another's suffering, but love is the willing of another's good. Both are unselfish, but love aims higher and farther.” Desire to relieve and prevent another’s suffering. That’s hard enough. Add to it the “willing” of another’s good. Love’s kindness is an act of the will, regardless of feeling, to see to it that good is imparted on another. Kindness seeks to make another's life easier, especially in the face of their sins and failures. Jesus is not impressed that we can love those who love us back or who are easily and naturally lovable. But He is very impressed at our love for our enemy, and those who want to harm us. Showing an enemy kindness is unnatural. It takes the power of God (grace), who IS love, to show kindness at moments when it does not come easily.
For a married person, to have a kind word for your spouse instead of a harsh word goes a longer way. To be kind to that spouse when they have failed you or sinned against you, or harmed you in some way, is a very powerful thing. But it is no easy thing. But to will it is a sign of Jesus with you, because when we are hurt, the last thing we want to do is be kind to that person.
Love bears, believes, hopes, endures all things. Love never fails. Okay, now this is impossible, right? We fail at love. It’s a mathematical certainty. So who can really love? We can’t. Only God can love. And with God, all things are possible. Love is a very Godly thing. And the love we seek to have for ourselves is really something only God can give. Unless we embrace that with maturity, we are not going to have success in our relationships with others, and certainly not in marriage. Because men fail. We fail to love our spouses simply because we have our moments. Moments of impatience and moments of unkindness. Only a spouse who does not recover, nor is ever sorry, nor knows how to forgive or ask forgiveness, or who perpetuates their ways is not interested in love. That kind of spouse can do serious damage to the spouse who does love.
And this is where we come to what I believe is the most important part to understand about St. Paul’s thoughts on love. He says, "When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things."
