Catholic & Single The Senses in Dating: Part 3 - Smell and Taste

Apr 15, 2009

Continuing this series on the senses and how they factor into dating, I decided to do the senses of smell and taste together because they are so intertwined that it’s difficult to consider one without the other at the same time.

 

To reiterate, it is through the five senses that we gain our knowledge of the material and spiritual worlds. We were created with a body and a spirit, but the person we are is not a spirit or soul trapped in a body, but rather the body and spirit make up what we call “I”. Together, they make up the whole human being and the entire human experience. The function of the body includes transmitting data to our brains, and this data forms the spiritual life as well as our material life.

 

The life of God (sanctifying grace) is an experience of the soul, which means body and spirit. God dwells in the soul and we share His life. At no time does this ever exclude the body, whether God stirs us in our hearts and manifests this to our brains and executes through our body, or whether something comes through the senses and helps us to develop a stronger internal relationship with God. Either way, the body is involved, and the senses play a key role.

 

The senses of smell and taste are not as glamorous as the senses of sight and sound. Seeing and hearing seem to be much more important and dynamic senses when it comes to dating. Seeing and hearing the beloved have such a dominant role.

 

But what about tasting and smelling? First, it is worth saying that in order to really taste, we have to be able to smell. Did you ever hold your nose in order to eat something you don’t like? That must mean the taste buds on the tongue require the sense of smell in order to have an acute experience of taste. In fact, when we taste something, the sense of smell triggers the experience in the brain and informs the brain of what it is that is being tasted.

 

This is where memory plays its role. We can actually see something in our mind because of a taste or smell. The smell of a pine tree in the woods might bring up Christmas memories. Eating a peanut butter cookie might bring you back to Grandmother’s kitchen as a kid. Tastes and smells serve the memory and influence how we behave and make decisions. A friend suggests going out for Chinese food, for example. You might decide to go or not go depending on what your mind remembers about the tastes and smells of Chinese food, or the frequency of having it.

 

When it comes to dating, we don’t tend to think about how much of our actions with the opposite sex are a result of taste and smell experience. When a man is in love, he can just smell the fragrance of the woman he loves. Perhaps he receives a letter from her and she has sprayed a bit of her perfume on the letter. He smells it and it brings into his mind wonderful memories of her. Or the beautiful scent of a woman’s hair works as an agent of attraction for the man. He can still remember the smell of her hair long after they have parted company. On the other hand, perhaps the smell of tacos is unbearable to a newly brokenhearted woman because the love of her life used to take her to a favorite Mexican restaurant and she cannot bear that memory.

 

Love is developed through sense experience. And every sense plays a role. We must be careful not to discount any of them. Again, smell and taste don’t play as much of a role as sight and sound, but they do play a role. Though the roles are fewer, the few they contribute are significant.

 

The Scriptures say, “Taste and see the goodness of the Lord.” For Catholics, the tasting of the Eucharistic Lord plays a tremendous role in our entire being and, in turn, in the way we conduct our lives as dating Catholics and in marriage itself. The experience of consuming the Holy Eucharist at Holy Communion in the state of grace provides an internal sight that cannot be accomplished through our eyes only. We are awakened to faith, hope, and love; and in that awakening, we are given as deep an experience of sanctifying grace as we are open to and as God desires to give. That relationship with God that comes through consuming Jesus Christ’s Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity is a key gateway to love for one another, particularly marital love.

 

Our very life is a call to love. Love is our vocation. Love is what we were made for. There is no complete way to love and serve the Lord without a sacramental life, particularly the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. Jesus became our food so we could have life in us. By consuming him, we see. We taste, and we see. The mouth that God created us with has this incredibly noble and privileged call to receive the Lord as food. But in addition, the experience of a meal is the context and environment the Lord chose to communicate two sacraments and prepare for His Holy Sacrifice. It is the context of a meal that we partake in every time we go to Mass. Meals, therefore, are a God-sanctioned way that love is communicated, friendship is shared and families are bonded.

 

It is very sad when meals become utilitarian; namely, a time to get food in us so we can move on to the next thing. And the preparation of food has become a secondary thing, or even an afterthought. What does it matter what the quality of the food is, or what is served? That, unfortunately, is an attitude many adopt. Food is a way of life, and food matters. Experiences of wonderful meals and delicious food affect the human person. And it is no coincidence that meals are a major vehicle for showing and developing love. It is a major form of communing and uniting. Cooking for the one you love is natural desire. There is nothing like preparing a meal for the one you love and seeing their delight as they partake in the meal you made.

 

For animals, food means survival. For human beings, it is a way of life. Those who disregard meals are underestimating their ability to bond people together. For a couple falling in love, meals are central to developing their love and relationship, primarily their worship of God together at the meal they partake in together at Mass.

 

(Column continues below)

May the Mass be central in the lives of dating couples and the Holy Eucharist the primary meal that enlightens their minds to truly "see" what love is meant to be and how it is to be lived. Let us thank God for the gift of our senses of taste and smell, which offer us the privilege of coming into communion with Christ our Savior, and prepare us for that love we are all called to live.