Articles by Kevin Burke
Proclaiming Liberty to the Captives
Mar 6, 2014 / 00:00 amThe Spirit of the Lord is upon me…He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free. Luke 4:18A series of large steel doors shut ominously behind me on the morning of Jan. 8, 2014, as I entered the Martin Correctional Institution (MCI) located in Indiantown, Fla. Many of the inmates here will spend a good portion of their lives behind the barbed wire walls of this maximum security prison. All have been involved in serious criminal activity; drugs, robbery, prostitution, car-jacking, violence and murder. However a majority of these men all share something else in common…a secret shared with no one else. They are fathers of aborted children. Is there any connection between an inmate’s involvement in abortion and a descent into criminal activity and violence? Responding to God’s CallThomas Lawlor is the director of Prison Ministry for Catholic Charities, Diocese of Palm Beach Florida. In November 2010, Donna Gardner, director of the Rachel’s Vineyard abortion healing retreats in the diocese, was approached by Tom and together they discerned a calling to begin a post abortion outreach for men in prison. Excited about the idea, they shared their thoughts with Deacon Don Battiston who served as a volunteer Catholic Chaplain at MCI. Deacon Don is a grizzled veteran of prison ministry He responded with a puzzled look to their request. He never thought about how abortion might impact the men given all the other serious issues they negotiated in their troubled lives. He was skeptical…but open. To put his skepticism to rest, Deacon Don did an informal poll with about 100 men in two prisons where he ministers. At his weekly services he asked the men to share anonymously if they were ever involved in an abortion(s), and if the abortion had any effect on their lives. He was shocked to discover that almost 90% of the men had been part of an abortion decision and that it had indeed impacted the men. Deacon Don became a believer and lent his assistance in getting the program approved by the Department of Corrections…no small task.Donna developed a 10 week version of the Rachel’s Vineyard program specifically designed for use in prison with take home assignments from Healing a Father’s Heart, a post abortion bible study. More than 60 inmates have been through the program, and the results have been nothing short of miraculous.Father Wounds and Military MadnessAs we entered the MCI compound that January morning we made our way to a room in the prison chapel. Donna and Tom introduced me to inmates John, Ed, Harry and David (two Caucasian, two African American men.) These four men are alumni of the Rachel’s Vineyard program, and identified by Donna and Tom as team members for this growing ministry. The men freely volunteered to share their stories with me, and how they have come to see the role of abortion in their overall life journey. John, Harry and Ed were in various ways estranged from their fathers. Harry lived in a chaotic dysfunctional family environment with a stepfather who physically and sexually abused him. He acted out to receive the beatings because it was the only sense of connection he had to his parents…feeling ignored felt worse. But the violence hardened his heart, filling him with hatred and resentment toward others. John acted out throughout his childhood trying to get the attention of his parents who were consumed with their restaurant business and rarely home…a self described wild child and out of control. He remembers only the occasional beating from his father. Ed’s estrangement from his father was not one that featured abuse, but a painful emotional distance. This unspoken pain and grief began a process of personality division and emotional disconnection to protect himself from the emotional pain and grief. This disconnection would prove over time to be deadly. Deepening the Disconnect – A Toxic SynergySynergy: The interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.From their teenage years through young adulthood, the men participated in at least one abortion decision. They all shared with conviction and grief that although they did not understand it at the time, their abortion decision attacked them on a deeply personal level as men. The abortions deepened a distorted false sense of male identity rooted in exploitation, manipulation and narcissism as a shield from the pain of childhood neglect/abuse and the shame and grief of abortion loss. The sparks were present. The abortion, followed by an immersion in the violence of war and criminal activity, set them ablaze like gasoline poured on a smoldering fire.David, Ed and Harry tried to rebuild their fractured manhood after the abortion and found a renewed sense of purpose and direction by enlisting in the military. However, this proved to be a toxic decision for these men. The military provided an outlet for their growing rage, pain and unresolved grief. They hungered for opportunities to express this rage in the socially sanctioned context of war (Vietnam, Middle East) and criminal activity. Violence and high risk behavior became an adrenalin saturated drug of choice for John, Ed and Harry in military and civilian life. This corrupted wounded manhood nurtured a complete lack of respect for life, and an equally callous disregard for their personal safety and futures. Vulnerable to ViolenceViolence was less of a driving force in David’s life after abortion, but he learned in the military how to abuse alcohol, which he found to be a common activity among the enlisted men and later would be a significant factor in his incarceration.David’s story is unique and revealing among this group of inmates. He had a solid upbringing without any previous violence, family abuse or criminal activity prior to his abortion. He was not estranged from his well-respected and high achieving African American family. He was a successful high school athlete with legitimate aspirations to attend college. When he learned at age 17 that his girlfriend was pregnant, he was relieved when she decided to abort their child. However, deep down he knew it was wrong, and he abandoned his child to death. David shared that his tragic mistake was a failure to trust his father and mother enough to share about the pregnancy and receive their guidance and support to do the right thing.After the abortion, David experienced depression and lost a sense of direction for his future. He enlisted in the military to find a focus and purpose for his life. After his military service, David married and began to raise his two children. But his unresolved abortion loss and abuse of alcohol left him vulnerable to the culture of violence and racism that many African American men face in their communities. David went out drinking with a friend carrying a concealed firearm. As they entered a restaurant drunk, a patron uttered a racial slur at the two men. A fight ensued and David found a gun in his hand, firing and killing a man. He will spend much of his life now at MCI, separated from his family. Sharing the Light of Christ: A Brotherhood of FatherhoodDonna and Tom have accompanied these men as they revisited the devastation of their lives. As the Rachel’s Vineyard healing process unfolded, these inmates discovered that while they may have wounds with their earthly fathers and have seriously sinned against God and their fellow man, they have a Father in Heaven who still loves them unconditionally and passionately as his sons. This was a life changing moment of grace and essential as they continued with the work of the Rachel’s Vineyard program.Through the healing of their abortion loss, these men have truly been transformed in Christ, and are now serving as Rachel’s Vineyard team members under Donna and Tom’s guidance. These hardened criminals who have hurt themselves and others so deeply, have been freed by their heavenly father of rage and violence. Harry expressed how God reached into his chest, took hold of all the toxic pain of his life and gave him a new heart…a heart that can feel deeply, grieve, rejoice and love. Donna and Tom’s Special GiftAs I met with the men in the prison ministry building I was struck by the joy, the friendship and comfort they shared with one another and the love and respect they have for Donna and Tom. They have in many ways incarnated both the love of God and also the love of an earthly parent to these inmates. It is very challenging to gain the trust of such wounded men. Donna and Tom have a special gift to nurture this trust and engage the men on the Rachel’s Vineyard healing journey. Donna also has a very important gift of discernment evident in her ongoing leadership in the abortion healing ministry of the diocese. She has the perfect combination of deep faith, professional expertise and intuition when assigning leadership to her teams. Donna has developed a dynamic group of English, Spanish and now Prison ministry Rachel’s Vineyard teams for the Diocese of Palm Beach. Setting the Captives FreeFrom fraud and violence he shall redeem them,and precious shall their blood be in his sight.May they be prayed for continually;day by day shall they bless him. – Psalm 7:2Deacon Don shared with us the change he is seeing in the men who go through Rachel’s Vineyard. He was clearly moved by the manifestation of God’s power in the lives of these wounded men. This transformation is also beginning to slowly transform the darkness of prison life as a growing number of men share a bond not formed by violence and intimidation; this communion is a shared fatherhood they reclaimed in their Rachel’s Vineyard healing journey. They are spreading this gospel message of hope with their fellow inmates, sharing the good news that has transformed their lives.Donna and Tom are expanding the healing program to another prison in Okeechobee Florida. God willing, the good fruits of this healing ministry of Catholic Charities, Diocese of Palm Beach will expand to other prisons across the state and the nation.
Finding healing after abortion: one man's journey
Feb 24, 2014 / 00:00 amDavid's Story:I started college at age 17 and found a job at a sporting goods store to pay my tuition. I was a successful high school athlete and knew sports, apparel and their related equipment thoroughly. I also had the arrogant swagger common to popular teenage athletes. I met Jessica when she came into the store, and we fell into a casual sexual relationship.My mother is a devout Catholic, and my father was a convert to the Catholic faith. Though I knew right from wrong, it was a passing comment, from my not-so-devout father that muddied the moral waters for me. In the context of a basketball game, he told me that it was not a foul unless the referee blows the whistle. Sadly, I understood this to mean that it is not wrong unless you are caught. So religious faith and spirituality were for Sunday mornings, and from Sunday afternoon through the rest of the week, I lived by the subjective moral standards set by the rest of the secular world.Though I avoided drug and alcohol abuse I had no trouble developing an addiction to other vices: gossiping, cursing, holding grudges, dwelling on vengeful thoughts…and womanizing. All of this behavior led to me developing a very self-centered system of priorities that eroded my ability to love my neighbor. I passed myself off as a civilized gentleman, until it was opportune for me to behave otherwise. This caused a split in my personality. I was sitting at home on a weekday afternoon when the phone call came. It was Jessica…she told me she was pregnant. Instantly the thought that abortion is wrong flashed through my mind. Apparently I had not yet killed my conscience entirely. I told her we could take care of the child. She told me that she did not want to carry the child and that she needed four hundred dollars to have the abortion. I was going to argue further, yet her boyfriend then got on the phone. It is difficult to put into words the rage I felt flare up when I heard him on the phone. It felt like an ambush. I told them that I did not have the money. As they continued to push, I pushed back and told them that it was not my problem but theirs. Then I attacked her, “You knew what you were getting into. I don’t know why he is even sticking around.”Later, as what was left of my conscience chided me for allowing her to go through with the abortion, I justified myself by saying that I had nothing to do with it.After the abortion, anger became my constant companion. I tried to continue with schooling but it did not take long for me to lose track. Violent thoughts lived in my mind day and night. I took unnecessary risks, such as racing, lashing out and fighting others.Danger and risk became synonymous with a good time. Adrenaline and caffeine became my bread and water. I still attended church on Sunday, because it was expected of me, and in spite of my chaotic interior life and lifestyle, I still thought it important to live a portion of my life by societal norms.The divide in my life grew wider. Before long, I was one person during the day with certain acquaintances and friends, and a completely different person at night and with different acquaintances.My academic plans in college — to complete a pre-med program and obtain a degree in psychiatry — finally collapsed under the stress of my double life. Long-term goals became obsolete and I lived my life day-to-day. Relationships began to suffer.One of the men I spent time with on my ludicrous escapades came to me with another wild idea. The plan was criminal in the extreme.Finally, the fruit of passive-participation in the killing of my child ripened within me. I participated in the murder and robbery of a man, the wounding of another, and the near death of a young woman at the scene of the crime. It did not take long for the police to arrest me. When sitting in the county jail a grace filled moment occurred. I realized that I had hit rock bottom. But remorse for my crimes and sins did not flood me, though I did recognize just how insane my behavior was. When sent to prison, I continued to look at the bizarre split in my life and the chasm that existed in my lifestyles. This, and God’s grace, brought me back to His Church, and I began to recognize how my sinful actions created this split personality. In walking with Jesus through my memories and past actions, I began to understand remorse, guilt, and healthy shame. However, no matter how much I prayed, no matter how much I fasted, and no matter how much I sacrificed, I suffered these demons of self-doubt and pride. Finally, the Holy Spirit brought the phone call from Jessica to mind. I became overwhelmed with the sense that this wound was the source of my suffering and struggle. I prayed for God to forgive me and I went to confession about the sin I committed against God, my child, Jessica, and myself. Still I struggled.At weekly services the Catholic chaplain polled 100 inmates to see how many men had gone through an abortion experience. A surprise came when I learned that more than 90% of the men around me were involved in an abortion decision. Later, the chaplain announced that the Rachel’s Vineyard program was coming to our institution to help heal the wound of the abortion. The seminar answered my deepest prayers. It showed me how my self-image and core beliefs were warped by the abortion, my self-justifications, and my denial. I came to recognize that the need to overachieve, my obsession with detail, my propensity for anger and violence, and even my hunger for adrenaline excitement were rooted in my corrupted idea of masculinity. My consent in the abortion of my daughter was a violation of my natural purpose to protect and provide for my offspring. When this occurred, the split in my personality was a defense mechanism that allowed me to exercise denial, so that I would not have to feel the pain of my decision. This denial was forcing me to overcompensate for the damage I caused to my natural masculine identity. The problem was that this denial also meant that I was denying everything that made me human. It was a suffering joy when I came to know my heavenly daughter, Angela Grace. I had been unaware of just how callous and unfeeling I was, but through the healing received by God in the Rachel’s Vineyard seminar, it allowed me to feel. I came to know myself, my wrongs, and experience a remorse that is difficult to express adequately — painful to feel, yet liberating to know.Rachel’s Vineyard is the grace that God ordained for my healing, and the healing of so many others. Though I justly remain in prison for my crimes, Rachel’s Vineyard has been the vessel of grace by which God has made me free. It is in this freedom that I will now be…Silent No More.[David has been transformed by his ongoing conversion which began with his incarceration and blossomed after his Rachel's Vineyard experience. He is truly growing in holiness, and you can see this clearly as he reflects the love of Christ and shares that love in practical ministry with his fellow prisoners. David and 3 other inmates are being mentored as team members for the next Rachel’s Vineyard program in the prison under the leadership of Donna Gardner and Thomas Lawlor of the Palm Beach Diocese Catholic Charities. Over 60 inmates have experienced spiritual and emotional healing through their Rachel’s Vineyard groups. However I was honored to stand with the women and men of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign at the steps of the Supreme Court at the close of the March for Life, January 22 2014 and share this testimony. – Kevin Burke, LSW]