The hilarious, fake candidate who won Catholic Twitter

Washington D.C., Nov 11, 2016 / 06:02 am

While Donald Trump has unequivocally won the U.S. presidency, the 2016 election race remains one of the most divisive in recent history.

Polls throughout the election process showed nearly unprecedented disapproval ratings for both Trump and former Secretary Hillary Clinton.

Due in part to these historic levels of unpopularity, many individuals cast their support – or at the very least, public appreciation – for parody candidates such as Harambe the Gorilla and wrestling star Stone Cold Steve Austin.

CNA spoke to one such candidate – Sweet Meteor O'Death, or SMOD – a sharp-witted, scathingly funny asteroid who claims to offer the world "a better alternative in the form of the end of human civilization."

Over the course of the campaign SMOD gained a large following – including a sizable Catholic contingent – on Twitter. (SMOD also claims to have been raised Catholic itself – though Church teaching states that only persons made in the image and likeness of God can be baptized.)

SMOD also gained attention when placed up against the major and third-party candidates: in a July poll conducted by Public Policy Polling, SMOD gained the support of 13 percent of millennial voters – more than the third-party candidates Gary Johnson and Jill Stein.

CNA spoke with SMOD about the election results, and its plans to "probably destroy all Earthly life," now that the campaign is over. (This interview has been edited for clarity).

CNA: How do you feel about election results?

Sweet Meteor O'Death: I lost the popular vote and I lost the electoral vote. Nevertheless, I feel great about the results and look forward to rendering Earth devoid of human life.

CNA: What are your plans for what comes next? Do you plan on running in the future?

SMOD: Yes. Like Sisyphus, my work is never finished. An extinction-level asteroid impact is next.

CNA: A big focus of the discourse looking forward after the election is national unity. What will you do to unify the country, and how will you continue to work for unity as a concerned citizen of the galaxy?

SMOD: I will unify the carbon molecules in every human body, joining them together in one contiguous layer of coal.

CNA: Many voters are filled with regret. Do you have any regrets as a candidate?

SMOD: No.

CNA: Many saw you running as much against the system as against Cthulhu, who also promised destruction. What do you think set your two campaigns apart this year?

SMOD: Two things. First, I promise natural, scientifically-premised destruction. Second, I don't have face tentacles.

CNA: This election has brought out a lot of divides from within the religious community – what can you offer religious voters at the polls or watching election results?

SMOD: In many ways, this election helps illustrate the philosophy Søren Kierkegaard. The world (especially the political world) is absurd, and when faced with such absurdity sometimes the best move is to a make a leap of faith.

CNA: How is your relationship with the Catholic Church? What do you think of Pope Francis?

SMOD: Some of the Earth's earliest radio broadcasts were from Italy, so I guess you could say I had a Catholic upbringing. Francis is a great Pontiff from everything I've read about him. I'm also a big fan of St. Francis of Assisi.

CNA: You are an unabashedly pro-death candidate. What do you have to say to pro-life voters. Will you combat the Culture of Death and if so, how?

SMOD: Death is a part of life. It is inevitable. Tragically, not everyone dies at the same time, thus those who pass away will still leave others behind to mourn their absence. I offer the opportunity for natural, worldwide simultaneous death; death without grief or suffering. The only life to remain, small colonies of bacteria, will feel neither pain nor sadness.

CNA: Much of your campaign focused on preparing for the demise of humanity. It is also November- the month where the Church remembers the dead. Do you have any advice for preparing for a happy death and for remembering those who died before your arrival?

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SMOD: Life is short. Make your emotional investments wisely – i.e. not in politics or professional sports.