How do you handle the presence of a restless child at Mass?

Puebla, Mexico, Oct 19, 2024 / 07:00 am

It’s common for families to attend Saturday vigil or Sunday Mass with their small children, which can sometimes lead to interruptions due to children crying or playing. Two Catholic priests have some advice aimed at improving the experience for both parents and other Mass attendees.

Father Vicente Eliamar Vega, a priest of the Diocese of Saltillo in the Mexican state of Coahuila, started out by saying that it’s essential to get children used to fulfilling the obligation to attend Mass weekly, as well as on holy days of obligation, “for the glory of God and the salvation of their souls.” 

Vega urged families to maintain this practice and take their children to church, since “it’s the way in which we are going to prolong the heritage of faith.”

Father José Juan Montalvo — known on social media as Father Borre — founder of online ministry for the Archdiocese of Monterrey in the state of Nuevo León, called for patience and asked people to remember that the noise and behavior of children are natural for their age and that “this is what the hope and future of our Church sounds like.”

Advice for parents

Montalvo said he often encourages parents to look for a parish where there are special celebrations for children.

However, the priest explained, whether or not this type of Mass is available, it is essential that parents accompany their children and not only let them “experience the Mass as children but gradually educate them.”

He suggested teaching them something new every time they attend Mass, such as explaining the moment of the consecration, the readings, or when it’s time to pray or stand up. Thus, parents can “be catechists” for their children “during Mass.”

He also suggested that parents look for resources “on dynamics or tasks.” He recommended using a “checklist” with elements of the celebration to keep them attentive. For example, they can recognize simple elements such as a chalice or remember which apostle the Gospel of the day was from.

Montalvo indicated that these types of lists or activities can be found on the internet, so “little by little” children can be taught “how to live the Mass, but with a lot of patience, with a lot of pedagogy.”

Advice for priests

Vega emphasized the importance of “forging the heart in the love of Sunday Mass,” pointing out that in this regard priests play a fundamental role.

He suggested that, with charity, the priest himself or one of his assistants could “directly get the child’s attention.”

“This has a more intense effect than if the father or mother did it,” he explained.

Although this measure could provoke some reactions, Vega noted that “it’s not something that should cause scandal,” since “Christian education is firm in the principle, gentle in the manner,” which allows firmness to be maintained without offending anyone.

Does Mass count if I’m caring for my children?

The Code of Canon Law states that the faithful are “obliged to participate in the Eucharist on holy days of obligation.” However, it notes that people who have “a serious reason (for example, illness or the care of small children) or who are dispensed by their own pastor” are excused from attending.

Those who “deliberately fail to fulfill this obligation commit a grave sin,” the Catechism of the Catholic Church states in No. 2181.

Pope Francis has also addressed the issue. During a homily at the Vatican in 2020 while baptizing 32 babies, he told parents: “Don’t be afraid, let the children cry. However, if your child cries or complains, maybe it is because he’s too warm; take something off him; or because he’s hungry, breastfeed him quietly here.”

Vega explained that “the Mass counts in the same way if I am coming in and out to calm my restless child.” However, he recommended that “the child learn to be at Mass.”

The priest explained that in case the father or mother must leave the church — for example, to go outside to the atrium — they must remain “in their heart united to the divine worship that is being offered at the altar.” 

What should not be done in this case, he said, is to use that time for distractions such as cellphones but rather “stay united, but on that side of the wall,” thus fulfilling the Sunday or holy day precept to be kept.

This story was first published by ACI Prensa, CNA’s Spanish-language news partner. It has been translated and adapted by CNA.