Staying in Bethlehem: Christian couple opts to marry and put down roots despite hardships

Jerusalem, Sep 7, 2024 / 06:00 am

On Aug. 3, Sabeen Rahil and Elias Johny Al Arja, two young Christians from Bethlehem, were officially engaged. According to ancient tradition there, engagements are a public act and already bind the future spouses together with a priest’s blessing and the exchange of rings. 

The couple will marry next year and have decided to begin their life together and raise their children in Bethlehem, despite the prolonged war in Gaza, the severe impact of the war on the local economy, and the escalation of violence in the region.

The couple told CNA that their decision is deeply rooted in their Christian faith and their desire to encourage other Christians to do the same in order to build a new society where Christians feel fully at home in the city where Jesus was born.

“Hopefully, by getting married, starting a family, and having children, we can inspire other Christians, perhaps [even] our [own] brothers and sisters, to do the same,” Rahil said. “We hope to start a new generation of people who will fight to stay in Bethlehem.”

Rahil, 24, was born in Bethlehem, holds a bachelor’s degree in audiology and speech therapy, and works with her father. Al Arja, also 24, was born and raised in Beit Jala (close to Bethlehem), has a bachelor’s degree in business, and is now managing his family’s hotel.

The couple is building an apartment above Al Arja parents’ home — tradition dictates that the man provides the home for the new family.

“We decided to get engaged because no matter what’s going on around us or what will happen, we want to be happy, we want to be together,” Al Arja told CNA during an interview at Cascada restaurant, which is owned by the Rahil family, the place of their first date.

“It was a difficult decision because of the ongoing war. We considered postponing the engagement, but in the end, we saw no reason to. We have faith that this country will find peace someday,” he explained. 

The couple met in 2020 through the “Leo Club,” the youth branch of the Lions Club founded in Bethlehem that very year. The organization promotes events and fundraising activities to support charitable works and people in need. Both were members of the board. 

“We worked together; we started to get to know each other more and became interested in each other,” Rahil recounted.

After a couple of years of dating, the couple decided to make their relationship official. On Sept. 3, 2023, following local tradition, the two families met and Al Arja formally asked Rahil’s father for permission to date her with the intention of getting engaged and married.

The date was chosen carefully and also with some trepidation, as just a few days later, Rahil left for Belgium, where she lived for a year to pursue her master’s degree in management.

She shared her feelings about the decision with CNA: “I was going to leave, but I still decided to make our relationship official. I felt that I wouldn’t find anyone else with his qualities, and that’s what I wanted. That’s why I was ready to take this step.” 

Living in a long-distance relationship, she added, “wasn’t easy, but it was worth it: It made our relationship stronger and our love more powerful.”

When Rahil left, the sky was clear, but just a month later, the clouds of war darkened both the sky and their thoughts.

“After the war started, we talked about living abroad,” Rahil said. “These thoughts came to our minds often.”

“We began to wonder: What if it takes a long time to end the war?” Al Arja added. “What if the war spreads to Bethlehem? What should we do? We also think about our future children.” 

Together, they made the decision to get officially engaged but also to remain in their homeland.

“After Oct. 7, many Christians left the country because they were afraid of what might happen and concerned about their children’s future,” Al Arja said. “We told each other that there’s no better place to live than where Jesus was born.”

He continued: “I’m going to build a house… If the war comes to Bethlehem, we would have to leave everything behind, but for now, we can still manage to live here. Our families are here, and I want my children to be born here, to live here, to know their grandparents, and to experience my childhood.”

The engagement ceremony was held on Aug. 3, when tensions spiked again after Israel’s killing of Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh.

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In accordance with tradition, Al Arja brought a gold necklace, earrings, and a bracelet for Rahid in addition to the rings. The engaged couple, along with their parents and close relatives, appeared before a Greek-Orthodox priest, as Al Arja is a member of that church and the tradition is to follow the man’s religious affiliation.

The priest blessed them, then took the rings and prayed over them. 

“He took my ring, prayed over it, and let Rahil kiss it. Then she placed it on my finger. I did the same with her ring. After that, the priest said something like ‘You’re bound together.’” Then the party began.

The couple deeply feel their Christian identity and the responsibility of being Christians in the Holy Land. This identity is reflected in their decision to get married and remain in Bethlehem.

“Jesus was born here; it needs to remain a Christian place,” Rahil said. “We hope to support the community by raising a new generation of people who will stay here and believe that this city is for us, for Christians — not exclusively, but it is a city for Christians.”

The exodus of Christians deeply grieves Rahil: “It’s very sad; it shouldn’t be this way.”

She recounted the moment she realized how special Bethlehem is: “I’ve been living here for 23 years, but I didn’t really appreciate it as much as I should have. When I was in Brussels, and people learned that I was a Christian from Bethlehem, they began telling me about their relatives who came here just to visit the Church of the Nativity. Seeing how others view my city truly enlightened me about how special it is.”

Al Arja, who works in the tourism sector, is reinventing his job to cope with the economic crisis, which has also affected the West Bank due to the war.

“I’m putting everything in God’s hands,” he said. “I’m working a little and managed to save some money before the war. It’s not easy. Bethlehem depends on tourism for 90%. Most of the hotels and souvenir shops are owned by Christians, and many of them haven’t had any income for 11 months.”

“Anyway, it’s very difficult for me to understand why Christian people are fleeing Bethlehem,” Al Arja continued. “Maybe they find a better life outside this country, but we are in a blessed city. God sent his only Son to be born here.” 

In the end, Rahil concluded, “this is the city where Jesus was born. It’s the city of peace and love, and there’s no better place to live.”