Cohabitating couples miss out on 'true happiness,' argues relationship expert

Sep 30, 2010 / 11:07 am

Commenting on a recent analysis which shows a jump in the number of cohabitating couples in the U.S., relationship expert and father of seven Anthony Buono said the figures are evidence of “individual selfishness” and a “contraceptive mentality” in our culture. Buono argued in remarks to CNA that those who avoid or postpone marriage while living together fail to experience “true happiness.”

The Denver Post reported last week that the Census Bureau showed a 13 percent increase in the number of opposite-sex unmarried couples who shared living arrangements. The number rose to 7.5 million couples this year as opposed to a 2 percent decrease between 2008 and 2009. According to the Denver paper, demographers suggested that a suffering economy may be contributing to boyfriends and girlfriends seeking to increase financial help from one another.

In commentsto CNA on Wednesday, father of seven and founder of Ave Maria Singles Anthony Buono said that “more and more couples living together” show how individuals are seeking “to enjoy all the benefits of marriage, without the commitment required of marriage.”

“I’m sure none of us have any illusions of couples having the conviction or strength to live together simply to share expenses in a down economy, or to save money together before marriage, or to get to know each other as people so they can determine if they will work out in the long run,” Buono added. 

“Let’s face it, couples living together are fornicating,” he asserted. “Living together falsely legitimizes their ability to have sex whenever they wish.”

“The cohabitation mentality completely includes a contraceptive mentality,” Buono wrote. “It is individual selfishness disguised as a good idea that seems to care about the other.”

“There is so much to be said about how much cohabitation, pre-marital sex, and the use of artificial contraception destroys the person and breaks down society as a whole,” he noted. “It is a historical fact that the family is the heart of society.” 

“Getting married and having children is what life is all about for the majority of people. Supporting marriage and the children of marriage is what life is about for the rest. Everything else has its place, but they are secondary to this.”

Buono continued to say that those “avoiding it, preventing it, postponing it, or committed to never do it are really missing the boat to true happiness. Living together has a track record of couples ending their relationship, not getting married.”

“Let me end by sharing a big plug for marriage and children, since there are so many who feel life’s financial struggles make it an excuse for cohabitating,” Buono said. “I am married and have seven children.  At tax time, I save a bundle because of all the deductions I have due to all the dependents I have.”

“I know a family with 12 children who don’t even pay income taxes. The large family is the most economical way to go.  The older children help take care of the younger children, and the gift of siblings cannot be underestimated.”

“Do yourself and society a favor,” he stated. “Get married and have lots of babies. Become great parents and raise your children to become exceptional adults capable of making a positive difference in the world.”