Catholic Men Man up!

Jun 13, 2011

I had promised myself never to use that phrase, but everyone seems to be saying it these days. A national newsweekly last year featured “Man Up!” on its cover while concluding that men will have to “rethink masculinity” in order to survive in the new economy that stresses Facebook-type sharing and soft skills over brawn.

As we approach Father’s Day, we may wish to reflect what exactly there is for men to celebrate. After all, the incessant recession has hit men the hardest — three-quarters of job loss has been among lower-income males who rely on physical strength to earn their wage. America just doesn’t build all that much anymore, apparently. Even the housing boom — which had given contractors much of their work over the past 15 years — has gone bust.

But “redefine masculinity?” I suspect that men who try to do this will be disappointed — or encouraged, perhaps — that it cannot be done. Oh yes, we can rethink how our masculinity is to be expressed, but we should never seek to have it suppressed. Masculinity is a precious jewel of humanity, something that the world, frankly, would be much poorer without.

It can definitely have its excesses — brash displays that come about often when men are unsure of their masculinity or feel it is under attack. Yet when expressed as male virtue — strength, character, protector, provider, and righteous warrior — masculinity has been the great energy of history. Courage, self-sacrifice, justice and truth are all expressions of masculine virtue, as are invention, innovation and idealism.

If you think you can “redefine masculinity,” just look at your local park, where the boys exhibit a warrior ethic and the girls tend to associate to communicate. The key is to harness and guide the wonderful masculine energy of boys so that they grow into men of strength and virtue — men of strong and enduring virtue. But never seek to suppress that masculine urge to rise and conquer, to build and destroy.

I have two boys, ages 10 and 6. They are both forces of nature. My mission as a father is to lead them into the truth about themselves and the world — starting with God and continuing on to mankind and all creation. My greatest mission — and maybe the most difficult in our somewhat feminized culture — is to teach them authentic love. That love is not merely an emotion, but love is mostly an act of the will. And my two boys certainly have very strong wills, so I know that they have the capacity for great love — enough to set the world aflame for the Gospel and change the course of history for the better.

Rather than “redefine masculinity,” we fathers would do well to “refine masculinity” as fire is refined to bring greater value and beauty to gold. The gold of my sons is their souls.

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