Catholic & Single In Heaven, WHO are you? - Part 1 of 2

Mar 24, 2010

In my line of work (dating and marriage), I know there are many single people (and married people) who live disconnected from the relationship between our bodily life here and our heavenly life to come. There should be a much greater realization that our bodies play a role in our getting to Heaven (or hell, for that matter), and that same body is with us throughout eternity. Therefore, sometimes I like to take the time to talk about Heaven to help single people prepare for their role in their future marriage.

Heaven is a difficult place to comprehend. To believers, we intellectually know that if we die in the state of grace, we will go to Heaven. But I’m not sure too many know what we will be doing there, or even give it much thought. I guess it is enough for us to do what we need to do to get there, and worry about the rest later. We need to realize we are a human being in Heaven. That’s what we are.

Also worth pondering is the question of “who”, rather than “what” we are. Have you ever thought about that? Who are we when we get to Heaven? Perhaps you might say, “Well, that’s a dumb question. I will be ME in Heaven.” Yes, that’s actually true. You will be you. But what does that mean?

We know that we will be happy with God, and we will get our bodies back, and there will be no more pain, and we won’t have to deal with any of our imperfections and faults any longer. But fundamentally, we are a person in Heaven, just as we are a person here. The reality that we are a “person” makes us able to use the term “who”. That makes a big difference from the “what”, which has to do with our nature. Collectively, the whole human race shares the “what”. We are human beings; that’s “what” we are. And for those of us who are baptized Christians, we share the divine nature of Christ. So divine is also “what” we are.

“Who” means that we are dealing with an individual person. There are no two persons who are the same. A person does not share the “who” with any other person. We are uniquely ourselves. If you are a person, that means you are able to act, and you are responsible for your actions. God judges each person individually, not collectively, based on the motives of that person, which can only be known to God alone.

The first thing we know about who we are in Heaven is that we will be the result of our actions here in this world. To be in Heaven, it would mean that our actions resulted in dying in the state of grace (God’s love), and we therefore belong in Heaven.

But what kind of person? And what does that mean for us?

Every person starts out good. By nature, we are good because we are created by God. But the person we are to become is only a “potential” at the time of birth. As mentioned above, a human being and a person are not the same thing. By birth, we are all human beings. We are all persons as well; however, becoming a whole person is a process. A baby is born with the potential of becoming a whole person. A baby is a person, but with a long way to go to be able to express personhood. This is what makes the childhood years the “development years”. At age 7, for example, you are a little person, and have developed a personality. Yet you are not fully a person. At 18, you are considered an adult. Yet you are not fully a person, though you are getting there. When you are in your 40s, you think back to when you were 18 and you realize you don’t even recognize that person because you have come such a long way since then. Yet you are not yet fully a person.

Do you see where I am going with this? The fact is, we never stop “becoming”; therefore, we are always working toward the fullest potential as a person that we are called to be until the day we die. To be a person in fullness would mean we are in perfect harmony with God’s plan for us as to what He called us to become. Falling short of that at any level and at any time would mean we are less of a person. We make strides, and we have setbacks. Who we are is something that comes with the practice of living. This practice of living is what shapes us. Habits, attitudes, and personality are developed and influence how we act. Good habits are called virtues, and bad habits are called vices. How we act is what defines who we are.

Are we a virtuous person or a vicious person, or something in between? How do we know? How do others know? Our actions tell others, and ourselves, who we really are. What we do affects others, so we need to make sure our decisions reflect who we are inside. Everyone sins, so it can’t be just the action itself that judges us. How we recover from a sin or a failure is part of the story. Consistency and frequency also play a role. If a person loses patience from time to time, that does not mean they are an impatient person. It takes time to discover what are the consistencies about a person. But it is these consistencies of actions displayed on the outside that are the best evidence of who we are as a person.

What makes us human is our fragility, our ability to fail. Our personhood is our connection to God, and all that is good. To be a bad or evil person is to be less of a person. In fact, every bad action works toward forfeiting our personhood, and works toward becoming more like an animal. The dignity of every person is their goodness, or their “God-ness”. Every person has the potential to be good. No person is without his or her faults and moments of failure. But a well-formed person on the road to becoming fully a person will feel guilt for wrongdoing, be sorry, and seek forgiveness and make up for the wrongdoing. This makes them an even better person.

So how do we become the good person expected of us? I will address this in the next part. For now, it is important to realize that a person who is dating another person brings all of who they are into their relationship, and that we are always developing into the whole person we are called to be. We have to work on ourselves at all times if we are going to be of value to another person. And getting into Heaven has everything to do with the person we are, not just what we are.

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