Catholic & Single The Still of the Silence

Dec 24, 2009

Usually at this time of year, I write something about how preparing for Christmas can feel bittersweet for those who are single. As I personally prepare for Christmas, I can’t help being caught up in the usual things we all can get caught up in. My goodness, now I have 2 feet of snow to dig out of with only one day until Christmas. My kids prayed for a white Christmas, but 3 inches would have been enough! My inclination was to be upset at the inconvenience of it. Yes, it’s beautiful, but how can one help but think of all it will take to get out of such a mess, and get everything done with such little time left before Christmas? To add to the temptation, my son’s birthday present was a hockey game we could not all get to because of the snow. What a disappointment, and financial loss.

But as the snow kept falling and I was shoveling the cars out, I stopped for a long pause and just watched the snow. In the silence of that snowfall, the word that kept coming to mind was “blessing.” What a blessing that snow was! As beautiful as the snowfall was, its greatest blessing was the power of its silence. That silent beauty was able to grind things to an absolute halt. And a much-needed halt at that. Had it not been for this snow, I would have raced my way right to Christmas Eve. But as it happened, I was forced to stop and be steeped in the silent beauty and blessing of the snow.

So I watched the snow and kind of just stood there, letting my mind clear out. What I did not expect to happen next was the real point God was trying to make. I heard myself say to myself, “Anthony, do you even know the true meaning of Christmas?” It was a fair question to ask myself at that point. I just didn’t expect it, because I have been preparing for Christmas all Advent. Why would I ask such a thing? I believe the reason is because I don’t believe I have ever considered the utter silence that surrounded God entering this world, and how much God values silence, and uses silence to communicate with mankind.

I had read about this silence from many spiritual writers, but perhaps only intellectualized it. But this snowy day, 5 days before Christmas, I found myself trying to actually process it. Those writings came flooding back to me and I had a very special moment in that snow that has blessed me for this particular Christmas.

You know, it really is true that there is a temptation to retreat into self and feel alone, as if no one understands you, and your problems are insurmountable. Looking into homes from the outside you see bright lights, a warm glow, happy families. But there is also a pain for those who feel lonely within a family; those estranged from loved ones, spouses that cannot see eye to eye, families who have lost a loved one. Christmas is a time to reconnect. And rightly so. Being connected with others is what teaches us the true meaning of love, and therefore brings us closer to God, as well as gives us the ability to bring God to others. There is a sadness when we are not connected with family or friends, or if we have not made that one connection we long to find when it comes to the marriage vocation. Christmastime can make those feelings more acute.

The key is to take these feelings of sadness, or regret, or loneliness, to the Lord. In the still of the silence of the Tabernacle, Jesus is present to us and waiting for us. Much like the still of the silence of His birth when Jesus was born and God was very much present to us, He is there every day in the Tabernacle, ready to take upon Himself all that we have to give him.

Advent is a beautiful time of preparation. But it should be a time when we prepare for the silence. Our souls are truly yearning for something: not for these surface things, but for God. We feel the call to repentance, we feel the call to reconnect, but the One we most need to reconnect with is the Lord. We are downcast and groaning, and He is there, in the still of the silence, waiting for us. Waiting for us to come before Him humbly, and ask Him to help us start anew. And so it is most appropriate that we pour out our souls in the beautiful sacrament of Penance at this time of the year. And by doing so we prepare our hearts for the coming of the Christ Child by making a place for him, first and foremost in our own hearts. Once we have made our hearts a place that is fit for the King of Kings, we are better able to bring hope to others. Advent is a beautiful time to hope that the things which are difficult in our lives can be improved.

But this is accomplished most effectively as we understand the value of silence. This snowstorm that caused us to stop was an opportunity (a gift) to appreciate what it means to stop everything and consider the real purpose of Christmas. It made me laugh to see people out in their driveways (like myself), immediately trying to get cars dug out, and to see people attempting to drive out of the development. No sooner did the snow stop than everyone seemed to have to get out and go somewhere. Was it really necessity that drove their sense of immediacy to get out and go, risking their very lives? Or could it perhaps be an unknown distaste for stopping; for shutting down; for accepting; for silence? I can say for myself, being the type of person that takes action and has to solve problems and keep moving, I believe I have that distaste and lack of appreciation.

I am so thankful to God to get this snowstorm, and for the Holy Spirit prompting me while I was out in the storm to stop and look and listen. All of Advent so far has not prepared me as well as this snowstorm has just 5 days before Christmas. Sometimes God has to do some unusual things to get our attention. He certainly got mine via this snowstorm. Otherwise, I was on the fast track to missing Christmas again this year without even knowing it.

We wait in joyful anticipation for the coming of the Savior. The Child Jesus wasn’t born into an enormous family, or even a large one. There were no brightly colored lights or cheerful carols in Bethlehem on that holy night. There was great faith, hope, and love. There was Our Lady and St. Joseph. And there was silence! To the whole world, God came into the world virtually unnoticed—except by those who were connected. For those connected, the silent entry of God into the world was communicated to them somehow. Those who cannot appreciate silence have a hard time knowing where God is, or perhaps even remembering Him at all.

Silent Night, that wonderful Christmas carol, has renewed meaning to me this year. Find the silence! Enjoy the silence! It is how we truly encounter God and make the connection that is most important in our lives, so that we can connect with others most effectively. In the silence, you will always find God.

Merry Christmas and the blessings of the Christ Child to you all.

|