Catholic & Single How can I tell when someone is really interested in me?

Nov 19, 2008

Dear Anthony,

I'm a member of Ave Maria Singles and have been corresponding regularly with another member, but I'm not sure just how interested he is in me. How can I tell when someone is really interested?

That's great that you are having some regular correspondence from someone on the site. Regular correspondence "could" be an indication of serious interest, but you are far from knowing for sure. What you do NOT want to do is allow a man to get away with always writing to you or chatting. Even when you get on the phone with a person, that's nice but it's not the definitive sign of serious interest. The way to know if a man is serious about you, or finding the right woman for that matter, is when he pursues meeting you in person. There are too many men, I'm afraid, who only want to stroke their egos by having someone who is interested in writing to them or talking on the phone, but they have no intention of ever meeting in person. There is no reason that a man should not be discussing meeting a woman in person after a month of regular correspondence.

My advice to women is to part ways with any man who seems like all he wants to do is write or talk on the phone. You don't want to waste your time. I'm not sure why men want to waste the time of women, or their own. But one thing is for sure, women cannot allow a man to get away with doing that. Too often they do, and that's because for a woman, it is nice to have a man interested in her and she does not want to lose that. I just got done dealing with a woman who was upset that after one year of writing and phone calls the man she liked so much was still not following through to meet in person. She finally woke up and stopped all contact with him. She never should have let it go on for a year.

So that is my advice to you. Enjoy your time getting to know this man, but don't put any serious credence into the relationship until he shows you that he wants to meet in person. If after a month he has not suggested you meet in person, then you do so. If he says that would be good and does not make it happen within a reasonable amount of time (maybe another month), then end it. You don't need a man who can't act on what he wants. In fact, it's sad to say, it is not a woman that a man like that wants. Maybe it's an ego boost he wants, or he just wants to have someone in his life at some level, as long as he does not have to dedicate his life to her. I don't know. But whatever it is, that's not for you.

|