Catholic & Single What if I don't want to have ten kids?

Jan 31, 2008

Dear Anthony,

I am a recent convert to the Catholic faith and currently seeking a spouse, but I’m not sure I agree with the Church’s position on contraception. I don’t want to wind up having ten kids. I’m not against papal authority in general, but must I go along with this teaching?

I can appreciate your position at this time, but the fact is the Church firmly teaches that the use of contraception is forbidden in marriage. The use of Natural Family Planning is permitted but only when there are grave reasons to postpone being open to children for a time. Every couple must work toward being responsible as they plan their family. Being open to God is always a must. So how do you know if God wants you to have ten children? Actually, you don’t. But one thing is for sure, He is the author of life and He knows what he is doing. So entering into marriage with anything other than a desire to have children is not good. The purpose of marriage is having children. That does not mean you have to have ten kids. There is one week of each month that a woman is able to get pregnant. The practice of abstinence during that week is a healthy thing for a couple. So don’t allow yourself to consider contraception for any reason. There is no place for it for Catholics in marriage. There are ways to put off having children at times without having to consider blocking life artificially.

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