Articles by Matt McGuiness
A second look at porn: Part three
Feb 12, 2013 / 00:00 am“A second look at porn” is a three part series. This is the final installment treating the theme of everlasting communion. Previous columns looked at the education of freedom and the need for the Infinite, respectively. “Why ain't cha breast-feedin' (your baby)?” asks Gale. His goofy brother, Evelle adds matter-of-factly, “Ya don't breast feed him, he'll hate you for it later. That's why we wound up in prison.” (“Raising Arizona,” directed by Joel Coen). Rev. William Virtue puts the matter a bit more academically and positively: “The infant's experience of desire and satisfaction while nursing under mother's loving gaze is a precursor of the moral life as moved by desire for union with God” (Doctoral dissertation, 1995). In other words, all of our needs are meant to be infinitely fulfilled, and if they aren't, we're headed for big trouble. Fulfillment begins in this life but is brought to completion in eternity.We are all like the diaper-clad and bottle-fed Nathan Junior in Raising Arizona: we have these clamoring needs that beg for fulfillment. All of them must be attended to, but some require more interpretation and evaluation than others. If I'm thirsty, I should probably get a drink of water; if hungry, eat. But even these simple biological urges cannot be followed willy-nilly. And if I want sex?Well, that desire is even more portentous than simply an itch that needs to be scratched. If we don't deal with it intelligently, we can find ourselves in a prison of our own design.All of our needs tell us something. Mindlessly trying to satisfy a need is the source of manifold problems. But when I examine my needs and the deepest longings I have (discovered in the heart, the place of my “I”), there is an opportunity to converse with these needs: What is it you seek? Sexual desire must be understood in light of my other needs and desires: the need for truth, for beauty, for goodness, for total satisfaction. Walker Percy points out that pornography “is symptomatic of a radical disorder in the relation of the self to other selves” (quoted from “Lost in the Cosmos”). Thus in seeking a resolution of the porn problem I must begin with myself. One can bemoan the ubiquity of porn and claim to be helpless because it's everywhere or one can look inward If there is no conversation with myself about my deepest needs, there is no conversion, no change. Thoughtlessness leads to the triumph of instinctivity and the exaltation of the bestial. Sure, you can live that way, but do you really want to?The way of verification “God saves man through man.” The Fathers of the Church were not shy about exalting humanity because God Himself was not shy in sending His Son in the flesh to save us. When it comes to porn there is no magic formula, but simply this: if I'm interested in escaping porn, my interests must be far larger than the logic of pornography permits. As a subculture, pornography is very parochial (in the pejorative sense of the word): it is interested only in people and situations that are ludicrously sexualized. This is what makes it essentially barbaric: its disinterest in fully human experiences. To reject the logic of porn means to reject its silly and childish narrative, and to embrace one's own humanity.To embrace my own humanity, I must take my desire for happiness seriously – to the point of ruthlessness. Whatever declares war on my happiness must be tracked down to its source and interrogated. “Lust, what is it you're really after?” This is, in fact, a highly ascetical work. It does not mean entering into the world of hairshirts and obscure penances, but it involves a work of asking and listening and sharing; it means entering into the communion of saints. It is the path that Christ followed, the way of friendship. Jesus didn't call the Twelve because He needed a board of directors for “Jesus, Inc.” but because He needed friends. (It goes without saying that we need Him infinitely more than He needs us!)The importance of friendship was brought home to me by a friend who has struggled with pornography and was involved in a twelve step program. He said that the weekly catechesis he participates in through Communion and Liberation has been decisive in helping him overcome his addictive tendencies. This amazed me because I don't think we've discussed pornography per se even once in the last seven years. By being educated in what he truly wants, the allure of porn receded.This is totally biblical, as an evangelical might say. Here's an example:“They came to (Jesus) bringing one sick of the palsy, who was carried by four... And when they could not offer him unto him for the multitude, they uncovered the roof where he was; and opening it, they let down the bed wherein the man sick of the palsy lay. And when Jesus had seen their faith, he saith to the sick of the palsy: Son, thy sins are forgiven thee... I say to thee: Arise, take up thy bed, and go into thy house. And immediately he arose; and taking up his bed, went his way in the sight of all; so that all wondered and glorified God, saying: We never saw the like.” (Mark 2:3-5, 11-12).The paralytic and his buddies went looking for one thing but got infinitely more than they expected. They would have been satisfied with a healing, but Christ goes deeper: it is reconciliation with God that is the greatest good; being able to walk is just icing on the cake. When we read the gospels we don't merely find morally uplifting tales or a history of Jesus. No, we see how Christ acted and continues to act. Thus it is not just incidental that it is the paralytic's friends who bring him to Jesus. Christ acts in the here and now through real people (from the lovable to the deplorable), through the sacraments, in prayer. So has it been, so shall it be. This is a consequence of the Incarnation.Everlasting communion Our fulfillment in Christ begins now but has its full flowering in Heaven. The life of grace that began in Baptism is experienced here and now. Years ago I used to try to imagine Heaven and I conjured up Fantasia-like images full of color and excess of every sort. I didn't see Heaven as directly related to my day-to-day experiences. That was until my friend Tommy talked to me about chocolate cake.We were talking about those moments in life that are really great. It might be a conversation with a friend, the birth of a child or a U2 concert. For Tommy it was a piece of chocolate cake. The cake-ness we experience now is great – there's no denying it – but it has limitations: finite cake, finite appetite, what have you. Cake is God's life in us and every other good thing. But in Heaven it's infinite cake. As Tommy put it, “Heaven is the whole cake, so the hunger for cake can always be instantly satisfied. We'll want the cake in Heaven as much as we want it now but it will be always in front of us.” It's the same cake.Heaven will be recognizable when we get there. Some surprises for sure (like who gets in!), but perhaps there will be more continuity than we expect. The best stuff in this life will be There. Infinitely and eternally.The hundredfoldAs mentioned above, another friend of mine (not Tommy) went looking for happiness. He got some and realized later that the allure of pornography had been mitigated. In the communio of the Church, he discovered what the Fathers of the Church had previously discovered: “God saves man through man.” Good Christian friendships make it possible for us to embrace the truth of our humanity and that of others. This is God's grace at work. Our relationship with Christ implies and makes possible the communion of saints (on earth and in Heaven). As the Dominican Augustine DiNoia once observed, “You can't be a Christian by yourself.”The evil of pornography does not reside in the beauty of women, but in that it hijacks our need for intimacy, for communion, for beatitude and it diverts us from our destiny in Christ. The “thought world” of porn would have us believe that we must choose between the flesh and lust (hedonism) on the one hand, and dis-incarnate purity and beauty (angelism) on the other. This is the lie of Manicheanism: that the flesh has nothing to do with purity and goodness. Christ's Incarnation means that purity, goodness and beauty have come in the flesh. This is the meaning of the Incarnation for us: Christ lives in His Church. If we are open to this reality in all of its richness, everything changes.
A second look at porn: Part two
Feb 7, 2013 / 00:00 am“A second look at porn” is a three part series. The first installment addressed the education of freedom. This second column discusses the human need for the Infinite. It will conclude on the theme of everlasting communion.Author's note: Based on some of the feedback I've received since the first installment was published, it is clear that the term “desire” requires some clarification. By desire I mean the drive, the need, for total fulfillment that is in each one of us. It includes our sexuality but it is not reducible to the sexual urge. It is not reducible to sheer impulse or the promptings of concupiscence. Rather, desire includes the totality of things I want and need: love, affection, beauty, goodness, truth, etc. Desire can reach its destiny only in God as the Catechism of the Catholic Church notes in paragraph 27 and as Pope Benedict XVI admirably fleshes out in his General Audience of Nov. 7, 2012.“Nothing matters but that Jesus was a liar.” So preaches the founder of the Church of Christ without Christ in Flannery O'Connor's “Wise Blood.” She doesn't tell us what led Hazel Motes to conclude that Christ was a liar; maybe it was these words: “Amen I say to you, there is no man who hath left house or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or children, or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, Who shall not receive an hundred times as much, now in this time ... and in the world to come life everlasting” (Mark 10:29-30). Motes might have, as we are wont to do, looked at his circumstances and asked, “Where's my hundredfold?” Is Jesus being truthful when He says that following Him brings incalculable happiness?Or, to put it another way: do we believe Him? Can Christ actually make us happier – not just theoretically happier, but really happier? Is there more joy with Jesus or with images of naked women? In any case, is there a way in which we can verify His claim for ourselves? Infinity within the finite The logic of pornography suggests that happiness can be found in isolating one part of reality, working it up to a fever pitch, and vigorously repeating pointless actions that go nowhere and mean nothing. This is transcendence? Hardly. Miss O'Connor insisted that one must be “humble in the face of what-is” and that one can transcend life's “limitations only by staying within them” (quoted from “The Church and the Fiction Writer”). If we apply what she says to naughty nudes, we can make this observation: fruitlessly pining after the allegedly perfect woman or the ultimate fantasy can never take us where we want to go; to reach the Infinite, we must see what is really present in reality. In other words, squarely face the “what-is-ness” or hard limits of reality. A particular and inescapable feature of reality is that one simply cannot possess and fool around with all the attractive women that pop into one's head or that are further conjured up by the tawdry image factory which is pornography. You can't have them all. Further, you probably don't – in your heart of hearts – want them all. Just the logistics alone are staggering: how could you possibly feed and clothe all those ladies? And in heaven's name, can you imagine them all living with you under one roof. Fantasy? No, it begins to take on the shape of a nightmare. Be careful what you wish for, lads. The limits prescribed by God are clear: “Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). You just get one. That's a limit. It's a limit and if happiness (a seed of the Infinite) is to be found, it will be found within that limitation.Needs and their satisfactionSometimes we conflate our needs and their satisfaction with our inclination toward sin (concupiscence) or sin itself. Thankfully, Jesus didn't suffer from this arid puritanism. Jesus was all about educating the disciples in a way that omitted nothing of their humanity. In His very first encounter with the first disciples, the first question He asks them is “What seek you?” (John 1:38). Years later when He has scandalized a multitude by telling them they must eat His flesh and blood, He challenges the freedom of the apostles: “Will you also go away?” (John 6:68).Christ never patronizes us with cheap formulas that trivialize the drama of existence. Our freedom is always in play, and He insists upon the reasonableness of faith. All of what we are – including our needs and limitations – are gifts from God. If we are to care for ourselves, have affection for ourselves, we must pay attention to our needs that cry out for fulfillment. Pope Benedict XVI noted that “a kind of pedagogy of desire” is needed for each of us to have “an authentic joy of life” and that one ought not be content but always seek “a higher good, a deeper good” (General Audience, Nov. 7, 2012). Because of Original Sin, I am wounded and lack clarity. Acting by my own dim lights I might think that the hundredfold – total satisfaction – could be obtained by stocking up on methamphetamine, vodka and dirty movies, and then finding a beautiful young thing share this bounty with and going to town. Clearly, this is not what Christ has in mind, nor does it have much appeal when I am in my right mind. At the level of impulsivity or instinctivity, sure, it sounds great; yet when my wits return and I seriously evaluate what is really attractive, I find that I want something else. Something more.Self-help solutions American culture, which is always selling pseudo-salvation, tells me both what I want and what I ought to be. The feel of this consumeristic (and all-consuming) culture can be felt in the words of Tyler Durden in “Fight Club”: “Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy (expletive) we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place.” If the multinational corporations have a “wonderful plan” for our lives (and they do), sometimes church people offer us “solutions” that alienate us from ourselves no less than the spinning wheel of production and consumption. Some within the Church will tell us to ignore the infinite need that makes our hearts restless and just plunge into Catholic practices and pious devotions. Never mind the meaning, “Just do it.” Here's a sample checklist: start going to daily Mass, pray the rosary, make a holy hour, try this novena, frequent confession more often, do some twelve step program, go to a Catholic conference, be virtuous. You get the picture.Rather than getting at the source of dis-ease, the checklister would have us multiply activities. This mentality derives from that English proverb “Idle hands are the Devil's workshop.” Sure, there are moments when I need to distract myself in order to avoid sin (thus the utility of the proverbial cold shower or St. Francis' thornbush), but if I live a life of distraction (even if it's filled with “spiritual” content), I'm living something less than a human life. By all means, pray regularly, love Jesus, and seek out those people, places and things that bring you to life. But if you approach Christianity with checklist in hand because “that's what good Catholics do,” you just may find that this is a recipe for alienation and exhaustion, not holiness. Re-educating our humanityBack when he was Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, Pope Benedict XVI observed that “being a Christian does not mean some special skill alongside other skills but simply the correct living out of being human” (quoted from The Yes of Jesus Christ). Ours is an age when being human is particularly difficult. Of all people, Friedrich Nietzsche pointed to a crucial aspect of the problem: “We are unknown, we knowers, to ourselves... As far as ourselves are concerned we are not knowers.” In the information age, we suffer from a profound knowledge deficit. We don't know ourselves, hence we don't know what we want, hence we chase after the first thing that catches our eyes. Pornography is nothing if not eye-catching.If we think of the surplus of cultural pathologies in modern America, these surely testify to the fact that the desire for happiness is alive and well – despite our confused grasping after it. Happiness is a human need no less than truth, beauty and goodness. Luigi Giussani calls the need for these four things “elementary experience;” they are at the core of what it means to be human. We don't “invent” them; they are given to us by Another. They are tools to help us evaluate all the different things that come our way and present themselves to us, offering us happiness (or perhaps a counterfeit). Giussani insists: “If we wish to become adults without being cheated, alienated, enslaved by others, or exploited, we must become accustomed to comparing everything with this elementary experience” (quoted from “The Religious Sense”). This is not navel-gazing. On the contrary. It means that if one wishes to see God's work (the Infinite) in this world (the finite), one must begin a serious work of looking and asking. If I am shut-off from the what-is-ness of every day things, if I am satisfied with pious platitudes and a mere theoretical understanding of reality, I will see nothing.Jesus sees it: “I confess to thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them to the little ones. Yea, Father; for so hath it seemed good in thy sight” (Matthew 11:25-26).Christ saw into the depths of reality because of His communion with the Father and the Spirit. Our entry into Trinitarian community begins in Baptism and flourishes in the communion of the Church. The hundredfold begins here and now or not at all. Our final installment will deal with what pornography fails so miserably to imitate: our need for everlasting communion.
A second look at porn: Part one
Jan 15, 2013 / 00:00 am“Poor Lily. Xavier just used her body, and not even the right side!” In his film “Damsels in Distress,” Whit Stillman explores “non-procreative sex” in ways that are shocking, simply shocking: it just isn't proper to question sexual relativism in a “Hollywood” movie. Later on in the film, another character named Jimbo asks Lily, “How could he do that to you?”